The Chaos of Contradict (Thesis 1)

 




Noelle Cha 

The Chaos of Contradiction

Canvas paper, Acrylic paint 


Honeycombs, carefully built by tireless bees, melt at the touch of lava. Delicate flowers bloom amidst the confusion. Chaos flows, and she consumes the grass below. In my attempt to untangle which emotions and aspects of myself are truly mine, I find myself caught in contradiction. As I try to define myself, I become even more uncertain.


This is my initial idea sketch. I wasn't sure about what colors and symbols to add, but the overall composition between the couch, flower, honeycombs, and lava is similar in my final. I wanted this painting to be large and compositionally interesting– I didn't want it to realistic or illustrative, I wanted to create my own atmosphere. In my final piece, I ditched the clock because I didn't think I was symbolically significant. I also removed the large face because I felt it would be overwhelming and too story-telling esc.



I had a classmate take a reference photo of me slumped on a couch. In order to stray from simple illustrations, I wanted the perspective to be interesting. So, I had my classmate take a foreshortened picture of me. 


This is my first go at this painting. Because of its large size, I wanted to cover as much of the paper as possible, working on different parts of the paper at the same time. here, I lay out the golden color for the honeycomb and paint the general colors for the lava. I had to paint with a large paintbrush, so being loose with my hand and not overly careful was an important lesson I learned. 
I painted the outline of the figure and couch so I could see what it would look like compositionally. 
As I worked on this piece, I experienced lots of hesitation because I was unsure of how I should paint, what colors to use, and if something was missing. After taking a picture of my progress, I used my phone to draw on different colors and ideas to see what it would look like. This helped me be confident in what I was going to paint next. 
I continue to render different parts of the painting. I struggled to decide where I wanted my painting to look refined and where I would paint looser. I focused on the hands and shoes, keeping the jeans painted more loose. Additionally, I didn't like the pastel pink and green color in the middle, but I wasn't sure what to add. 
After adding detail to the grass and lava, I used my phone again to experiment with replacing the pale pink color. I wanted to utilize the colors I had already added in the grass, couch, and clothes to connect the canvas cohesively. I also drew on a chain to juxtapose the delicate, ephemeral flowers. I liked how this looked. 
So this brings me to my painting's current state. I added accents of green and orange into the honeycomb, used previous colors for the flowers, and added detailed drips of honey throughout the canvas. I haven't added the chain yet, and I'm not sure if I will. I've looked at this piece for so long, so I may take a step back and continue it with fresh eyes later. 


This piece allowed me to reconcile internal conflicts through a meditative painting process. Because of its scale, I was able to put all my emotions onto the canvas. I enjoyed experimenting with color and technique, and I think it has helped me more confident as an artist. 



A few months later... I add the chains. The hard chains glow red from lava, melting like honey.  




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